The first sign of maturity is the discovery that the volume knob also turns to the left. ~Jerry M. Wright
Spread the diaper in the position of the diamond with you at bat. Then fold second base down to home and set the baby on the pitcher's mound. Put first base and third together, bring up home plate and pin the three together. Of course, in case of rain, you gotta call the game and start all over again. ~Jimmy Piersal, on how to diaper a baby, 1968
A father is always making his baby into a little woman. And when she is a woman he turns her back again. ~Enid Bagnold
Are we not like two volumes of one book? ~Marceline Desbordes-Valmore
Dad, your guiding hand on my shoulder will remain with me forever. ~Author Unknown
I'm sixty years of age. That's 16 Celsius. ~George Carlin, Brain Droppings, 1997
We advance in years somewhat in the manner of an invading army in a barren land; the age that we have reached, as the saying goes, we but hold with an outpost, and still keep open communications with the extreme rear and first beginnings of the march. ~Robert Louis Stevenson, "Virginibus Puerisque II," Virginibus Puerisque, 1881
Sherman made the terrible discovery that men make about their fathers sooner or later... that the man before him was not an aging father but a boy, a boy much like himself, a boy who grew up and had a child of his own and, as best he could, out of a sense of duty and, perhaps love, adopted a role called Being a Father so that his child would have something mythical and infinitely important: a Protector, who would keep a lid on all the chaotic and catastrophic possibilities of life. ~Tom Wolfe, The Bonfire of the Vanities
You're not 40, you're eighteen with 22 years experience. ~Author Unknown
Never raise your hand to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected. ~Red Buttons
Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope. ~Bill Cosby
Blessed indeed is the man who hears many gentle voices call him father! ~Lydia M. Child, Philothea: A Romance, 1836
Father! - to God himself we cannot give a holier name. ~William Wordsworth
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