When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years. ~Author unknown, commonly attributed to Mark Twain but no evidence has yet been found for this (Thanks, Garson O'Toole!)
Thanks to modern medical advances such as antibiotics, nasal spray, and Diet Coke, it has become routine for people in the civilized world to pass the age of 40, sometimes more than once. ~Dave Barry, "Your Disintegrating Body," Dave Barry Turns 40, 1990
Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what happened. ~Jennifer Yane
Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body. ~Elizabeth Stone
Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle. ~Bob Hope
He didn't tell me how to live; he lived, and let me watch him do it. ~Clarence Budington Kelland
One father is more than a hundred Schoolemasters. ~George Herbert, Outlandish Proverbs, 1640
Never raise your hand to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected. ~Red Buttons
Sherman made the terrible discovery that men make about their fathers sooner or later... that the man before him was not an aging father but a boy, a boy much like himself, a boy who grew up and had a child of his own and, as best he could, out of a sense of duty and, perhaps love, adopted a role called Being a Father so that his child would have something mythical and infinitely important: a Protector, who would keep a lid on all the chaotic and catastrophic possibilities of life. ~Tom Wolfe, The Bonfire of the Vanities
Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body. ~Elizabeth Stone
We know we're getting old when the only thing we want for our birthday is not to be reminded of it. ~Author Unknown
I still have a full deck; I just shuffle slower now. ~Author Unknown
I don't care how poor a man is; if he has family, he's rich. ~M*A*S*H, Colonel Potter
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