Inflation is when you pay fifteen dollars for the ten-dollar haircut you used to get for five dollars when you had hair. ~Sam Ewing
Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope. ~Bill Cosby
Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle. ~Bob Hope
The first sign of maturity is the discovery that the volume knob also turns to the left. ~Jerry M. Wright
There is still no cure for the common birthday. ~John Glenn
It would seem that something which means poverty, disorder and violence every single day should be avoided entirely, but the desire to beget children is a natural urge. ~Phyllis Diller
Middle age is the time when a man is always thinking that in a week or two he will feel as good as ever. ~Don Marquis
Dad, your guiding hand on my shoulder will remain with me forever. ~Author Unknown
The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age. ~Lucille Ball
When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it had happened or not; but my faculties are decaying now and soon I shall be so I cannot remember any but the things that never happened. It is sad to go to pieces like this but we all have to do it. ~Mark Twain
The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age. ~Lucille Ball
Our birthdays are feathers in the broad wing of time. ~Jean Paul Richter
I still have a full deck; I just shuffle slower now. ~Author Unknown
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